... like you are drowning?
For weeks I have been in this weird funk and I can't figure out why. So many little things to do, and perhaps most of them are actually my normal many things to do, but instead of doing them, I just feel... like not. And there they float... all around... waiting to be done like they always are. But I'm getting tired. I'll do that laundry and then I'll have to do it again. Why make dinner anymore because it's so boring. I've tried new things -been helping more at the school, I've been trying to speak softer to my kids (In vain, mind you- it was an attempt to try and reduce the over-talking in my house but now I'm just drowned out and bulldozed), trying to have gusto for my new calling, try to be inspired... but I pass creative ideas that I have no motivation to do (why should I?), I need some new music badly but don't even care to look right now (why??), I am bored with my workouts (why do it? Who cares?), I stand in my closet every day attempting to make a better effort and then I look in the mirror and wonder- who I am kidding?!, I should blog- but why? Who cares? What am I? Just someone who fulfills all of the should-do's for everyone.. the school projects, the homework, the meals, the laundry, the picking up, the church stuff, the design stuff...every day... over and over. Ugh. This is not me. I miss me.
Sorry to be down. Esp. on here. But I guess I feel like... who cares?
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
Every time I sit down and pull out my watercolors, I think of you. I have had this love affair with painting ever since I saw your paintings at the old house on Center Street when Marty brought me over. Every time my little Kate bug starts to paint (she is 4) I wonder if maybe she will have your talent. I still can see your paintings in my head.
It has been 17 years and I still see them.
17 years and I'm still jealous of your artistic talent.
Oh, how I love watercolor.
So, feel free to get down on yourself. Feel blah.
But your butt is smaller than mine and you have more talent on a bad, crappy, boring day...than I will ever have.
So...sulk. But then remember how awesome and talented you are. And we all know it.
It must be in there air . . . I have been feeling the exact same way. But just so you know, I CARE! Chin up ol' gal!
I have been feeling the same way all winter. blah
I agree - sulk. Watch a movie on your couch in the middle of the day surrounded by sugary treats. Go eat a burger. Feel crappy. We're all entitled to blah days! I love you so very much, and if I had a smidgen of the taste and talent you have? I would tell you some fun, happy music to go buy. Alas...
It really must be in the air. I am feeling the same way. Some days I just want to sail away and find myself. We all have those days, weeks, months. It will get better, and I will anxiously await your new blog posts of Andreaamazingness. Yes, I just made up that word.
I just read your post at the end of a very long week for me where i felt the same thing and had tears in my eyes because you just seem to capture things so well. I'm sorry you are feeling that way, but we all get this way sometimes don't we! The good news is that you kicked my booty in WWF the other day!
In answer to first question...Yes, all the time. It's so comfoting to know I'm not the only one. Let's blame it one the weather!!! Tomorrow the sun will come and it will be a new day.
I like what your readers say...to allow yourself to sulk. It's important to allow ourselves to feel those feelings--because they are real and need to be acknowledged. I know I've been there before, and by the looks of things, most other women have too. Sometimes we all need to just take a mental break. Hugs to you~ :)
i hear ya girl... i think that is why i have read 3 books this month... that's what i feel like doing:)
---- o.k now time for spring crafts.. cause i care:)
i'm feeling it too sister! i feel your pain. i can offer you no advice. just know THAT I AM WITH YOU. really.
it would be fun to get together and commisurate over lunch, no?
who cares?! I do!
I know I am late to the comments but I will add mine anyway.
I marvel at your everyday gusto! I wish I had more myself.
I think this is a common battle within us all from time to time. It sucks, but we gotta pick ourselves up and keep going. sometimes it correlates with the time of year, the time of month, the demands of the moment, the crowded schedule. BUT whatever the reason... It really just means you need a break, to rejuvinate somehow, somewhere. listen to you body and your mind telling you to steal away somewhere even for a weekend! with the husband, with some girlfriends, with your sisters, your mom? whatever! It always helps me regain my enthusiasum for the everyday life.
Post a Comment